i don think im gonna do much bout it… sigh….. cuz i don feel like im being very truthful towards him too. i do not particularly tell him everything. haha…..!! but then and again, one still needs thier own private space right? i just thought of it… sigh how much more of a failure can i be? i really miss the happy things v did together. the times v had, bla bla bla… ok… here’s the catch. i find myself to fail so deeply because of someone. i still love him. o dear…. if only my bf knows, im a goner…. sigh… i don’t intend to hold it from him any longer… but time doesn’t permit… and it hurts. it might be hurting him too,if he ever finds out… er.. o ya… i forgot. i told him this before… haha. but not the whole truth… i kinda lied to him by saying that i do not have felings towards this long time lover of mine. he even went to Genting with us. i was so afraid that i might hurt both thier feelings…. sigh… that’s y im in such a mess right now.. i really do not know who comes first. now the problem is, i cannot seem to make up my mind. oh God.. pls tell me wat to do…. i do not wish to bring this forward any further… sob sob…… the guy whom im having a relationship with is a prson who can bring me a lot of hapiness…. but he can also shatter my heart into a million pieces at the same time. that’s y i said i really do not know wat to do…. however, on the other hand, i have had my mind on this other guy since i was young…. believe it or not, since std1…. im now in college. i know that this long time lover of mine can be rather immatured at times, but he’s gonna be a good bf if ony i had no bf myself…. so…. decisions, decisions, decisions…. Mira…. pls tel me wat to do again… im sori to bother you so much Mira…. this is wat im thinking right now… i’d continue my relationship with my recent bf……. but if we ever break up, not to say that im praying that we’d do so, but wat im saying is,…. if,…. i ever break up with him, then i’ll end up with my long time lover…. i don’t mean him as my backup. not at all…….!!!!!! sigh!! do you think im wrong to do so? wud it hurt either of thier feelings?? sigh… im a failure at this. i do not know how to handle love…. God knows… only he can help.